Real life Dragon Training
If you are on this site, there's a high likelihood that you watched How To Train Your Dragon only to be disappointed with the lack of actual dragon training instruction. If they wanted to leave out the dragon aspect, that's totally fine with us. But they should at least change the name of the movie. Here are a few examples of better names for the film: The Bow and The Dragon; Vikings: The Quest To Ride Dragons; or even The Viking Dragon Mutual Partnership. We feel that you have been robbed of your money, and we hope that this website will help you not only realize that you are not alone, but also show you how to actually train your dragon.
TIPS & Tricks!
Helping your dragon behave properly in public and around others is of paramount importance. You don't want to be THAT guy who owns the dragon that is peeing in someone's yard, eating the neighbor's dog, or even burning some countryside with his fire breath. A great way to correct behavior and create a bond between you and your dragon is teaching it some great tricks. Some highly recommended tricks include: sit, play dead, burn, roast, broil, toast, simmer, shake, and protect that gold you stole from my dead relatives.
With our help, we can help your dragon accomplish some of the scenarios below. Not only will you have a well-behaved dragon, but you'll also be the talk of the town!
Incinerate Local Village:
STEP 1: LOCATE LOCAL VILLAGE STEP 2: TRAVEL TO LOCAL VILLAGE STEP 3: INCINERATE VILLAGE STEP 4: CELEBRATE YOUR VICTORY
BBQ WITH FRIENDS
STEP 1: COMPILE GUEST LIST STEP 2: PICK UP GROCERIES STEP 3: GRILL YOUR FOOD STEP 4: HANG WITH YOUR FRIENDS
breed A dragon
STEP 1: FIND A BIRD STEP 2: FIND A SNAKE STEP 3: LOCK THEM IN A ROOM STEP 4: SET THE MOOD
Frequently Asked Questions
The Internet's Premier Dragon Training WEbsite
"Being the mother of dragons can be really tough sometimes, but thanks to ThisIsActuallyHowToTrainYourDragon.com, my dragons are very well-behaved, and only kill people I tell them to!"
"After using and applying everything I learned on ThisIsActuallyHowToTrainYourDragon.com, Susan McFarland doesn't f*ck with me anymore!"
Sir Knight BOWEN
"I was fortunate enough to have a dragon with an accent like Sean Connery, but he lacked discipline and was a little bit of a p*ssy, but now he's great and we're the best of friends!"